4 Talking Points for Discussing Sex with Your Kids
This is a parenting opportunity far more than a parenting obligation.
It there’s one thing I regret about my parenting, it is not talking openly and freely about sex. In my formative years, sex was “doing the nasty” and described as something “dirty.” Without a strong countermeasure, my worldview of sexuality was wired more by cultural influences of sex than by a biblical perspective.
This has been hard to unlearn.
So, when I had children, there were three things that caused me to put off “the talk.”
I was scared.
I was scared.
I was scared.
Who wants to talk to their kids about something you’ve been brought up to feel is a sinful act? Nasty and dirty.
Embarrassingly, I let them learn about sex in biology class. It was a Christian school, after all. Of course, by the time they took biology, they already knew. In fact, they’d known about sex long before biology class. Surrounded by Netflix, music, TV shows, and commercials during sporting events promoting cures for ED, not to mention the natural inquisitiveness and bodily changes that take place, what are we to expect?
I have already apologized to my older kids about my inexcusable neglect to set them free from sex being something taboo or hidden. It was my job—no, my opportunity—to share the beauty of God’s design for sexual intimacy in marriage, not as something nasty or dirty, but something uniquely good and beautiful.
I dropped that ball with them. I missed the opportunity. And I am so sorry.
Before I could get my new, sex-friendly parenting bearings, my youngest child initiated the conversation with the “where do babies come from” question.
I discovered that when we talk to our kids about sex, we are not introducing them to the subject. They know. They are curious and have questions that parents need to be equipped to answer.
And the earlier we begin the conversation to equip them with a biblical worldview of sex, the better. Whatever age you think is too early, think earlier than that.
If you think it’s time, here are four talking points to get the conversation going.
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